I was the one with nappy hair… The Power of Letting Go

I was the one with nappy hair... The Power of Letting GoI was the one with bad hair. I was the one with nappy hair. The one that the fam would make jokes about. You can’t get a comb through that. You better not go natural. What are you going to do with it? The only thing you can do is wear dreadlocks.

What are you going to do with it? The only thing you can do is wear dreadlocks.

I carried these words with me for years, decades even. I was afraid to try new products and I only stuck to certain hairstyles.  The ones I knew would work. I was convinced I couldn’t wear a wash and go.

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When people would mention my hair; I would beat people to the punch saying things “like I know it’s nappy.”

Thinking ‘oh, that would never work for my hair’ as I watched Youtube videos.

I’d heard it so much that I believed that my hair was bad. But what I didn’t realize is how those words, those jokes dictated how I saw every facet of my life.

I never called myself bad. But I believed it. I internalized every bit of the negativity. I couldn’t accept a compliment. I just couldn’t make myself believe that the kind words were true.

It wasn’t until a friend of mine asked, “who told you your hair was nappy?” It was my grandma. I started to think why did this woman who was dead and gone have so much weight over me and how I saw myself. Why?!


I didn’t have an answer.

The only thing I knew is that I wanted to be free. The words of a dead woman would no longer dictated how I saw myself, how I loved or received love. I would let go!

It was an uphill battle. It was soothing. I wore the negativity like a cloak. But no more. I would learn how to be free and embrace every kink, coil, textured strand on my head. I would love me!

I decided to let go!!!

 Affirmation for Loving Myself Unconditionally:

Today I will work at loving myself unconditionally. God, please help me let go of self-loathing and other unproductive behaviors. Today, God, I want to hold myself in high self-esteem. I know I can do so with Your help.

From More of the Language of Letting Go

Written by Anonymous

Let’s support each other! If this sounds familiar or if this is your life, use the comment section below to share your experience or words of encouragement.

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5 thoughts on “I was the one with nappy hair… The Power of Letting Go

  1. Keetah Hudson

    I love this article!! I should have seen this in my early twenties. I questioned my locating a job for this reason. I was told i needed a perm or s wig. I definitely had pride inside my heart for me just to be me. I refused to perm my hair. I have no regrets at all. I often kept (my mom) had my hair pressed and curled every two weeks.
    Long story short i have an twa after cutting my locs. I love it Now. It’s growing slowly, I love it!

  2. Pingback: I was the one with nappy hair… The Power of Letting Go - find-a-black-salon.com

  3. Marie Peppers

    I LOVE this article, as well! I too was raised to believe that I had “problem” hair, especially when having siblings with looser curl patterns and wavy hair. Only within the past decade have I come to appreciate my 4B/4C hair, and the magical things I can do with it sans relaxer. The whole process of “discovering” my hair was really freeing and cathartic. I would urge all women to try going natural at least once!

  4. omodele

    i have really nappy hair most especially my edges .please help i dont want relaxe my hair. i wear weaves and im tired help me.


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