Secret Santa Gave You a Relaxer… What would you do?

I don’t know about this one… You receive a relaxer as a Secret Santa Gift at your office Christmas party…

What would you do?

Harassment or nah?

— La-Kia Kommeren (@Mochalakia51014) December 22, 2014//


15 thoughts on “Secret Santa Gave You a Relaxer… What would you do?

    1. Daphne

      I wouldn’t call it harassment, but definitely inappropriate and offensive. Would the same gift be given to a person who is already relaxed???? That’s a really bad idea/joke.

      1. Ken

        This is not an easy topic as I don’t accept gifts from coworkers at no time your are there to work some of you may just need to say thanks but no thanks don’t open it don’t accept it you control your day

  1. Vee

    You ask two questions if I read this correctly (not a native speaker):

    Would you be offended (by the actions)?


    Is this harassment?

    For question one my first response to you is, if you have to ask you’re not offended and so why would you ask someone not in the situation you are in about this problem. If you were offended you wouldn’t need anyone telling you to feel offended.
    Also to whom is this offense taken? The secret santa himself, who had no idea what to get you? Or the female coworker? I think neither. The guy was really just trying to come up with a good gift. You could have burshed it off with a smile and said: ‘Oh hey look at this! You know, I’m not relaxing my hair anymore (touch your pretty natural hair here), but maybe I can make someone else happy with this! And then throw it out where he can’t see, because let’s be real even a homeless woman should not be using the creamy crack!
    This response is the best one because let’s be real how big is the chance that you actually get something you want in this secret santa thing? You HAVE to be able to use tact while opening and act like you (sort of) wanted the gift. It’s just a game, the (Western) year is almost over might as well forgive and forget because you’ll probably be working with them again in the new year.

    The second question is it harassment? I don’t really know what harassment means literally, but the gift doesn’t mean you HAVE to use it. And it also doesn’t mean people don’t like your hair.

    I think you need to be able to not take things to personal. Just see it as a joke. Don’t pay to much attention to it if you think the intentions of the female coworker were actually malicious. She won’t get the satisfaction because you’ve just brushed it off.

    Advice for now and for the rest of your natural life!

    Stay natural, stay positive

    1. Lori

      I generally agree with this and would add that your co-workers may have no idea that you don’t relax yr hair. Most white people have no understanding of our hair – esp a guy. But either way it was dumb to give someone a chemical type hair product (or any hair product) for a secret Santa gift when you don’t really understand their hair. So, yah, you’re dealing with some people who probably aren’t that smart. So let it go.

  2. Necey

    I’d be offended as well, but I’d ignore it. AND continue wearing my natural hair. Sometimes the best reply….is silence.

  3. tangela

    I’m sorry I’ve read all the comments and I have to say, I would be very offended, I don’t agree with white people not understanding our hair culture they understand we are BLACK and our hair is naturally kinky not BONE STRAIGHT like what chemicals do to our hair. The person that suggested the gift knew exactly what they were doing and the person that gave the gift knew what he wad doing by giving it. I think it was a sick and tacky joke. But……. that’s just my opinion. Be Blessed.

    1. tangela

      I apologize if I read the information wrong in my comment earlier. However I still think it was a sick and tacky joke. Some of us are Happy to be Nappy. 🙂 and some prefer the straight and sexy, to each it’s own. Just be happy with who you are. Be Blessed!!

  4. penny

    I’d only be offended if it were like a five dollar relaxer with a 20 dollar limit lol. otherwise its just secret Santa. My coworker told me when he gave me my gift that he was soo lost as to what to get me that he reviewed my list of likes and just gave me cash and chocolate.I know I’m offensive at work:/ hope they’re aren’t random posts about me

  5. SweetKiwi Wickham

    Give it back to him and explain how you feel, maybe he is nice enough to get you a more appropriate gift. If not give it away to a friend. Being offended is up to you-obviously he is ignorant to black women and their hair.


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