Real Life: I’m Being Pressured To Straighten My Natural Hair for My Wedding


With graduation, prom, and weddings in season you may be feeling the pressure from others to straighten your natural hair for one of these special occasions. (See 69 Formal Natural Hairstyles Below)

Now if you want to straighten your hair, go for it! But should you change your natural hairstyle just to appease others? I don’t think so.

This article is coming from a personal place as I have had a recent experience with this. This June I will be having my wedding ceremony celebration and I have decided that I have my heart set out on a natural hairstyle.

Word got back to me about a family member’s comment and this is what they had to say, “Don’t get me wrong I love Ariane with her natural hair but for the wedding she’s going to have that hair laid right?”

YES, my hair will be laid alright in a natural style of my choosing.

The sentiment that natural hair cannot be worn for special events is similar to the thinking that natural hair is not professional. I personally will never straighten my hair to impress an employer because I feel my texture is beautiful as is. Plus, if we are talking about a job offer I rather show them the real me from the beginning instead of surprising them and being asked annoying questions about my hair later.

I think it is a shame that many people still feel the need to hide their natural texture to look pleasing or presentable to others. It’s one thing if straight is your styles preference, but to do this just to feel worthy is a whole other issue.

I just find this funny being that you would never see someone with a loose or straight texture being told to make their hair look curly so they will look acceptable (it just wouldn’t happen).

There is nothing so inherently wrong with kinky or curly textures that they have to be altered in order to look professional, acceptable, stylish or fancy. If a natural look is what you want don’t let others opinions stand in your way as there are many natural styling options to choose from.

SEE ALSO: 5 Cute hairstyles for An Special Occasion

Here 69 Brides Who Wore Their Hair Natural (This definitely has given me some inspiration!)

What are your thoughts? Do you feel the need to press your hair for a special occasion?


8 thoughts on “Real Life: I’m Being Pressured To Straighten My Natural Hair for My Wedding

  1. Ashley

    I actually reclaimed my natural hair because of my wedding. For 10 months I tried to love and care for my relaxed hair and get it to to the short but sweet length I needed for my wedding. Well, it never got there… After all that I had gone through, I basically gave up on it. i stopped relaxing it, and braids got too expensive which is when I discovered the beauty of a twist out.
    I’ e received so much love and admiration for my hair that I don’t want to go back. If only I has known what my hair was capable of BEFORE we said I do. I would love to have seen these strong healthy and beautiful locks paired with my dress!!
    Once you’re committed, don’t give it up to please any witness or commentator.

  2. 3caramel7

    This is yours and your partners day as well. If you can, smile patiently and sweetly, listen to their worries and then make your decision between you and your partner.You may feel a bit rebellious and even disobedient if you go ahead and keep your hair in its natural state, but I can assure you that you will feel even worse and regretful in the long term if you don’t!

  3. legadema37

    Whose hair is it ? Whose head does it grow out of? Whose wedding is it ?That’s the person who should have the last word !! Sad how some of us still think our natural hair is flawed. I bet some of the critics are men. Sad how some black men criticize the same kind of hair that grows out of their own heads !! I’ve had to say the same thing to young black boys who ridicule black girls’ braids & natural hair styles. I tell them it’s self hate they’re really siding with the slave masters that abused our ancestors .Massa sho’ done a job on our people !

  4. Debi

    Several years ago I was told that if I wore my hair natural to my mother’s funeral I was being “disrespectful”. I wore it natural and looked quite sharp. I realized that person confronting me was coming from a place of self-hatred, since then I have seen certain members of my family evolve and embrace their natural texture; now some family members still will not be seen without a wig or weave down their backs complete with gelled down baby hair. Fix it Jesus. We have agreed to disagree and love each other anyway.

  5. Ann

    On my wedding day in June of 1991 I wore my natural hair. I had it pulled back with a thick braid tucked under and wore a pill box hat. Natural hair is beautiful hair. You just have to learn how to work with it. I also sported the double twist braids and single twist braids. I’m one who doesn’t like to comb their hair and/or style it much so natural is best for me! 🙂

  6. Jasmine Simone

    I am getting married in September. I have had several people tell me to straighten my hair for the event or suggest it. However, I do not feel this came from a place of hate for my natural hair but just a came from a result of culture and upbringing that has been ingrained in us as African-American women for so long. Straight is the way deep down in our psyches. The people who told me are natural! I do not think they meant harm. However, my fiancé LOVES my natural hair and even if I considered it I wouldn’t because I want him to see me in my natural state when I walk down the aisle in the way he loves me most. Its our day and I feel its about us not what other people think. Thanks for this post!


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