My Hubby FINALLY Loves My Natural Hair

My Hubby FINALLY Loves My Natural Hair

I wish I could say it was love at first sight, but it wasn’t.  The day I came home from the hairdresser, he barely looked at me. I ascended the stairs and tiptoed into the room. He looked at me briefly and turned back to his football game. No words. So I descended the stairs, stared in the mirror, and tried to tell myself I looked okay. He was in shock and so was I.

A little over three years ago, I big chopped after transitioning for five and a half months.  Although I was uncomfortable with short I hair, I had no choice. A few months earlier, I had opted for a Rihanna cut. I wanted a different look and thought I would look older. But instead, I hated it. Short hair just wasn’t for me. Prior to the cut, my resolve was to grow it back natural after wearing it short for a while. I was so uncomfortable with the cut that I fast-forwarded to the transition. Pretty soon, my natural hair took over and I had no choice but to cut the relaxed ends off.  So I did.

I wish I could say I was one of those “naturals” who rocked her TWA with pride, but I wasn’t. I was especially uncomfortable as my face ballooned during pregnancy. Quite frankly, my hubby fell in love with my hair the same time I did… when it grew back. Initially, my hubby would request straight styles, but in time he began to request twist outs and fancy updos. With time, we  both fell in love with my hair.

Too often, we forget that when we make changes in our lives others have to adjust too.  It’s not that our loved ones don’t love or support us; they just have to get used to it. And that takes time. If you are currently transitioning or have recently big chopped, don’t be too hard on your loved ones. Remember, they are transitioning too.


11 thoughts on “My Hubby FINALLY Loves My Natural Hair

  1. lovemefirst

    I love your article. I decided on 02/01/14 to do the big shave. Yes just shave it all off even though I just reconnected with a guy from my past and it had been less than 4 months that we have spent together. When I took my wig off he rubbed my head and kissed it. He told me he wasn’t a fan of wigs or weaves and just dealt with it because I wore it. Regardless I felt good with my decision and still am. Returning to natural hair is an interesting journey that I intend to keep forever.

  2. Misha Miller

    As women of color we are often told and showed through pictures and every media outlet that only straight hair is beautiful and anything other than that isn’t. As women of color if we all go back to our natural roots, there will be a kink, coil or curl. Bottom line. We’re told we’re not good enough in so many aspects, especially our hair, the thing society deems our crowning glory, and you ain’t shit if yours don’t fall a certain length and sway in the wind. As women we are forever making adjustments to please and make sure other people are ok with our choices. And who is that generous to us? Alot of times, so many of us women can’t even be generous towards each other. You and your husband are a union and I understand that you have to consider him. I just big chopped for the 3rd time. I’ve never felt sexier. Its not even the cut, its the way I rock it like I’m the shit that makes it beautiful. For me, the adjustment is not for other people. I cared way too long what other people thought and the only place that landed me what angry with myself. Some people like my hair; others don’t. And peoples opinion of me is really none of my business. If you don’t like how I’m living.. *shoulder-shrug*. Congrats on loving your hair and I hope you continue to embrace your natural hair journey 🙂

  3. Shawna

    This is so true! My fiance is still uncomfortable with my hair. While I’m finally growing into it he still need some time.

  4. Nashay

    Even though no one sees anything wrong with it, it’s sad how cutting your hair can make a husband look the other way. Some women even had husbands threatening to leave them for going natural. It sounds like he may have not liked it because it was short and once it grew out into this big beautiful afro, he fell in love with it. But what if you were to lose your hair and go bald, or have to cut it off (goodness forbid). Would he turn away again? Sometimes we put too much power in hair and not enough in our heart. Hair grows, hair falls out, hair gets cut, etc. It is an extension of us, but it is to not hold power of who we are inside. Our hair is beautiful at all stages, not only when it’s long. Nice story.

  5. aaliyah bey

    Hello my name is Aaliyah Bey and I attend California State University East Bay. I am planning a natural hair care expo at my school for the sista’s like myself who are natural or in transition to being natural. I plan to have specialist who know how to take care of their hair to come in and show us women how to properly take care of our hair and what products to use. Do you think you would be interested? I also plan to have a booth for all who come in to be able to sell any products they’d like

  6. Shana

    I say like India Arie “I am not my hair”…Love me love my hair. There is more to each woman than her hair and loving it starts with you. Most people freak out when you transition to natural hair because as most of the women have said here, the standard for beautiful hair is measured by long flowing hair and we have lived with the stigma that our hair is not good enough for so long that we have all had to relearn to love what we were born with. I did my BC 2 years ago and I love my hair to reeses pieces. Some people see it love it or hate it, what can I say, there has to be a culture change to get others to that place of seeing the beauty in it. For me, this is me take it or leave it.

  7. JB28

    In 2009 I had an epiphany and told myself that i would lay off weaves. That was around the time my boyfriend and I started dating. I have been natural as far as extensions ever since. For 2014 I decided to go no heat at all. My boyfriend is use to seeing me with straights hair, and has not really been completing my hair lately. Recently he told me he like how healthy my hair looks and smells. Who would of thought ? But I am excited to know he thinks that. Its a mission for me to have healthy hair!!

  8. Emerald

    Just wondering Latoya, was your man as bald as he is in that pic when he turned away from your original BC?


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