Happy Birthday Natural Hair Rules

I’m 29…

Happy Birthday Natural Hair RulesI’m 29 and I’m actually not sad about it… Usually around this time I count the unchecked items on my to-do list, but this year I’m counting my blessings. Twenty-nine years of life!

Starting at the age of 23, I would get very sad every year on my birthday. I was so disappointed in myself and my life. I made all these plans, but then life happened. When I hit my 23rd birthday, I just really felt like life couldn’t get any worse. I was so tired and broke. Instead of being closer to my plans of graduating with my bachelors, working my dream job at MD Anderson Cancer Center, not living from paycheck to paycheck, owning a house and traveling the world; it seemed like I was getting further away for my plans.

I was at the university pharmacy and the pharmacist noticed that it was my birthday. “Happy birthday”, she said. I can’t remember my response but I was less than enthused about getting older. I explained to her that I was a super senior (without a graduation date in sight), my car (my only mode of transportation was totaled), my job was cutting hours, and my job hunt was grim.

What was I really saying? Basically, I felt like a loser. I was working so hard to get the degree, the job, and the house and it’s not working. Everythin  that I equated to success wasn’t happening for me.

The pharmacist looked at me and dismissed everything I said. This stranger reminded me I was still young, healthy, and at least looked like I was loved. (Matter of fact my husband was in our rental car waiting for me). She pointed out, “You’re not picking up medication for a life altering disease.” Tears began to well up in both of our eyes. She was right. I had and still have so much to be thankful for…

Even a year or two later, I would enter this cycle of sadness on my birthday. Because my to-do list and everything that I hadn’t accomplished was still weighing heavily on me. The disappointment of watching others achieve everything that I wanted killed me. Others would remind me, “At least you have a good marriage”.  But still… there were days when I was too sad to get out of bed. I didn’t want to go school, that made it worse. I was very unhappy with my major, but my pride wouldn’t let me change it. I hated my job. My co-workers bullied and belittled me because of my age. I felt trapped. For a while, I felt like I was roaming aimless trying to obtain these things that I didn’t really want. I just thought they would somehow validate me. They would somehow prove I was worthy…

Now, I’m 29. I still don’t have the degree, house, or job — but I have so much more. I have peace. I’m truly grateful. I still haven’t accomplished those things on my life list, but the good news is I’m still here. Thankfully. That means I still have time. I’m consistently reminded that it’s not in my timing. I now know that God’s timing is perfect. I’m wiser. I’m much more appreciative of every little thing I have.

I have my husband who makes me better. He lets me be me –who ever I am in this moment. I have my son who is now two. The two loves of my life. Here’s a pic from last Christmas. Oh and my canine ladies. (I love my dogs!)

This year, I changed my outlook and perspective. Instead of counting the unchecked items on my to-do list , I’m counting my blessings.



10 thoughts on “I’m 29…

  1. Ladycmj1

    Happy Birthday to a beautiful, loving, kind, intelligent women. Acquiring “stuff” by a certain age does not equate to a meaningful and beneficial life, acquiring and being loved as well as loving others does because that love will motivate and inspire you to go further, be better, and do more! You are where you are supposed to be, right now at 29 years old. Enjoy your many blessings of love today and always. Thank you for all you do to help others you know nothing about but who has followed your advise and loving themselves more. Sorry to ramble on but I want you to know your posts has really helped me in learning to love my hair and take care of it. I started this natural hair journey six months ago after a big chop. Having worn braids and extensions for over 40 years, I was very apprehensive about wearing my natural soft short thinning hair but am so glad I did it, your blogs has helped me learn so much about my hair. It is growing and thickening up. I have not done a length check but I and those around me compliment me often on how it’s growing. Thank you and enjoy you day!

  2. Sam

    Thank you so much for this. I felt the same thing this year when I turned 26 , next year I’m turning 27 the reserves are still there. No degree, dead end job, no degree, still working on it, basement apartment, everyone around me seems to be accomplishing their dreams except for me. So, thank you so much for this! You don’t know what you just did for me. At this moment I am at work working an overnight shift , and tear are coming down my face as we speak. Thank you, thank you!!.

    1. Tamara Post author

      Girl, its just proof that you’re not alone. That someone out there knows exactly want you need and when you need it. Keep on, keeping on. You’ll get there in due time. And change your perspective about your situation because it can always be worse. Thanks for reading!


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