Guest blogger- Phill Wade
So you women wanna know what us men would think about you if you CHOPPED OFF YOUR HAIR and went natural???? Don’t lie…You wouldn’t mind knowing our perspective. I am sure that many women fear rejection so they second guess themselves. Many women decide to go with straight hair because they may think that its prettier..Ladies…please get an understanding…there is no such thing as good or bad hair if you are taking care of it. There was so much truth to the movie “School Daze” directed by Spike Lee. And you know that hes gonna tell it like it is. Some/many black women do have a complex when it comes to the terms “Good or Bad Hair”. These definitions are so twisted and detrimental to our thought process.
The Twisted Definitions:
Good Hair – Hair that is long and silky. Hair that blow in the wind. The kind of hair that is popular in commercials and will somehow make a women more accepted in society by other races. The kind of hair that ladies of Alpha Kappa Alpha Sorority should posses. The kind of hair that “some” R&B artist refer to when they say “LET.ME.RUN.MY.FANGERS.THRU.YO.HAIR!!!…OOO YYYEA!!” (…that was my Jodeci) Look at the women they use in videos.
Bad Hair – (I have to say this before I give this definition…How could God create something in His image that is BAD???)…Some say an Afro is bad hair. The kind of hair that ONLY socially conscious women have that join Delta Sigma Theta Sorority. Hair that has minimal bounce like Bantu knots, 2 strand twists, Braid-outs, Corn rows, Blowout, dreads or “rockin ruff and stuff wicho afro puffs” (I got a lot of homegirls and grew up with a lot of women OKAY!!??)
Personally, I don’t care because I am attracted to individuality and versatility. Whatever a man chooses IS his personal preference at the end of the day, but that shouldn’t stop you from being yourself. Besides, you should be content with who you are and how you look before you even approach the idea of being someones “better half” or their significant other. And if you aren’t content/satisfied, then you should work on it…life is about progression..not complacency…ENOUGH PREACHING (for now)…OKAY…Recognize this before you continue reading the rest of this blog because I know your eyes are glued to the screen waiting on me to say something wrong…(In regards to women) “No two men on God’s green earth will think exactly alike throughout their entire lives”. That is not possible, so having said that….DON’T GENERALIZE US nor should you look at your boyfriend/husband like…”Baby…you wouldn’t love me if I cut my hair off would you???…AND DONT LIE TO ME!!!..You know what??!…IM TYYYED OF YOU ALWAYS LYIN WICHO NO JOB HAVIN…GROCERY EATI…”…lol..got a little carried away but you get the point.
Lets approach the popular thoughts that many men may have about you going all natural…(I’ll start you off easy, but Ima still be honest)
Two Types of Guys
There is the guy that doesn’t mind and is sensitive to the reasons that you may want to go natural. He realizes you may be at a transitional period in your life where you are making a statement about your individuality or an affirmation to your self acceptance. And if it isn’t that complex, he may assume or notice that a natural style may be a matter of convenience. We realize that your lifestyle may be fast paced, spontaneous, or that you take your R&R time (Rest and Relaxation) very seriously and your hair is the last thing that you want to be worried about. He generally loves and respects the fact that you’re brave enough to do you despite whats popular. Ladies….you don’t have to go to a poetry lounge, spoken word symposium, or hip hop seminar to find a man that will appreciate your kinky twists…WE ARE ALL OVER THE PLACE LOOKING FOR YOU TO COME OUT…wicho beautiful self!!…So be BOLD when it comes to your image…don’t be timid…its not sexy. Let your hair down girl, its not a secret… love tuggin your strands; it snaps back cuz of shrinkage.
Then there are the guys who are bothered by all of your products with your SHAY Butter and curly puddin and coconut oils, Tea Tree Oils and your 1 million wide tooth combs all over the house and in every purse and car cup holder…He wishes that you would get a perm and call it a day. He doesn’t even mind you having weave in your hair. However, in an effort to know you in every aspect possible, he wouldn’t mind seeing your REAL HAIR every now and then. (Believe it or not)….. He desires that shoulder or back length hair type of look. Earlier in this post I mentioned that the definition of Good and Bad hair is detrimental to “OUR” thought process…black people have always had some sort of desire to be ACCEPTED…As a Man…when it comes to hair, it is my personal belief that “some” women originally wanted perms so that they could have grasp the respect of those who were falsely deemed as superior. A way of thinking was passed down from generation to generation and then came television…where the majority of the women in music videos, that I can remember (besides India Arie), had long or curly hair. So, women (some and NOT all) who wanted to be ACCEPTED craved length opposed to style and individuality. Men wanted to emulate the “playas” they saw on television because they supposedly have these women who seem to be on “Another Level” (read my last blog) thinking that society would ACCEPT them if they had a woman who looked like whats on the “Stupid Box” aka the T.V. Thus our mentality was and still is TWISTED. Lets embrace and ACCEPT ourselves. Black people are always saying “I dont care what nobody think about me!!!” with such authority. Lets not talk about it ladies and gentlemen….LETS BE ABOUT IT!!
I’ll close by saying this…Do you and I’ll still love you the same, BUT ILL RESPECT YOU EVEN MORE!!!
(S/O to Kirbee!!!)
Stay away from: Creamy Crack (Perms) every five minutes of your life, Products with Minerals and Silicones…When you get older…they will have your hair line receding like LeBron James or like it pledged Omega Psi Phi Ω (My roommate says “Roo to the bruhs)…smh…lol
Famous Naturals That I Like: India Arie, Teyana Taylor, Marsha Ambrosius (From Floetry), Esperanza Spaulding, Trace Ellis Ross, Chrisette Michelle, Ledisi, Solange Knowles, Corinne Bailey Rae, Janelle Monae (I think she is) and Erykah Badu!!!
Let me know what you think. Hit me on here or on Twitter @MrPhillWade
More about the author
Phill Wade is Houston’s reowned YouTube superstar who is most famous for his hilarious candid impression of Trey Songz. See here.